Funny True Story
This is a true story which was told on the David
Letterman's show...
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won
a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. Shetook a break from
the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room.
But first shewanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be
right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and she carried
the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.
As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed
two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was big, very
big ... an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought
was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't
be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. Racial stereotypes
are powerful; fear immobilized her.
She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious,
flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind. Surely
they knew her hesitation about joining them the elevator was all
too obvious. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there,
so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped
forward and followed with the other foot andwas on the elevator.
Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator
doors as they closed.
A second passed, and then another second, and then
another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed
her. My, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart
plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then ... One of
the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her: Do what they tell
you. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms
and collapsed on the elevator carpet. A shower of coins rained down
on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed.
More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say
politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going
to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a little trouble
getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly
laugh. She lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached
down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When
I told my man here to hit the floor," said the average sized one,"
I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I
didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially.
He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.
She thought: My, what a spectacle I've made of myself.
She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology,
but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable
gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She
didn't know what to say. The 3 of them gathered up the strewn quarters
and refilled her bucket.
When the elevator arrived at her floor they insisted
on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her
feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor.
At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her
room she could hear them roaring with laughter while they walked
back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled
herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.
The next morning flowers were delivered to her room-a
dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar
bill. The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."
It was signed, Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan.
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