Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf-esteem
Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missiletoe!
Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: PENguin
Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically
correct?
A: On Christmas morning, they give presents TO the tree.
Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging
about their games in a otel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish
Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.
Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
A: Santa csught in a revolving door!
Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.
Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because the angel had said, "No L!"
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Q: What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
A: Pour Santa flush on him.
Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for
Proctor an Gambel?
A: It's true...Comet cleans sinks!
Q: ow come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer,
"Olive?"
A: yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh
and call him names."
Q: Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat buy with the suit gets all
the credit.
