High School Relationships

Allison McDonnell, age 15, USA

High school is a rough time for many teenagers; everyone is trying to find out who they really are and to distinguish themselves from the ordinary masses of people who all act and look the same. This is a difficult time which contributes to the mood swings, stress, and chaos that is the life of a teen. Aside from the normal hardships a teen must go through during their transformation from a child into a young adult, many try to find a partner to add to the list of new experiences and, more times than not, problems. In high school, students feel it is a form of obligation to have a relationship, and I found that many feel it is lame and very much "uncool" to be single. These teens quickly realize that relationships, if they can even be labeled as such, aren't as great as they may have first expected. More problems arise from the situations; feelings such as jealously, control, and hurt start to surface. For many, they just suck it up and learn to deal, but others have a more difficult time with the problem.

For example, take my best friend, Holly, and her current beau. Things started off great at first; he was her crush of at least two months and then finally one day he asked her to the movies. She was thrilled of course, but after they started hanging out more and more she realized that he was slowly changing. He wasn't always the sweet, loving guy she knew and adored. He had a mean side, one that Holly is still having to deal with to this day. Sure, he can be bossy and controlling sometimes, but he is still my guy. It's worth dealing with that part of the relationship, and I know that even though he can be a little mean at times, he still loves me, Holly states.

But is it really worth it? A guy that will push a girl around in high school may be likely do it when he is older, too. These actions are those of a violent person who could one day abuse the people he claims to care about and love. A person can only take so much from these type of people, and maybe Holly will see that she should be treated with more respect than what she is receiving from that situation.

Not all high school relationships are necessarily terrible though. My friend, Rebecca, has been with the same guy for 2 years and 6 months. They are still very happy together, and she feels that he may even be her true soul-mate. When I asked her how she feels about having a real relationship when only in high school she replied, Tripp is great, and he treats me so well. I know that it doesn't work out for a lot of people and some get seriously hurt, but I guess I am just one of the lucky ones. A lot of teens let themselves be hurt by their partner and don't do anything about it. By talking to your man and letting him know how you feel about certain things you can keep the lines of communication open.

Whatever the case is, just be true to yourself. If you notice something is wrong, then tell the person who is making you feel that way. If he won't listen then you should ask yourself "Is he really worth letting yourself get hurt?". If the answer is no then you should try to end things as soon and as easily as possible. Don't be sucked into the tornado of dating at such a young age; you have the rest of your life for that type of thing. Enjoy being young and worry about more important things like what to wear to the party Friday night and passing the History exam on Monday.