One Whacked Out Nation

Liz Lyon

From obsessions with emaciated models to our love of body piercings and multicolored hair to our obsessive-compulsive need to wear brand names, America is quite possibly one of the most psychotic and "out of whack" nations. Therefore, it's no wonder that some of our most loved celebrities are men with breasts , boxers who bite off the competition's ears , interns who "help out" the president , and men who are not quite men . There are many things that could have drawn us to put druggies, criminals, drag queens, and tramps on pedestals, with most of them rotating about the self image, self esteem, and need to "fit in" that many Americans are far too concerned with.

If you wander into an ordinary high school, i.e. not mine, it is unlikely that you will find punks with piercings in illogical places and rainbow hair who may describe their favorite pastimes as sex, drugs, and some more drugs. Yet, for some odd reason, our American nation of Dockers, Polo, and the GAP seems to enjoy having celebrities completely unlike their preppy selves. Perhaps it is to quench the ever-present need to rebel. Perhaps we're just too afraid to tell them we don't like them, for fear of losing one or more facial fixtures. More likely, the average American wants to fight out against conformity, to stick out, to be a "super cool punk," yet he/she is afraid of needles/loud music/hair dye/etc. So, as a sort of "surrogate rebellion," we look up to spike-haired potheads who are just so cool they can do whatever the like. I mean who doesn't want to smash an expensive guitar to bits and then leap headfirst into a crowd of stoned teenagers? Speaking of bad hair, Monica Lewinsky is another unlikely celebrity who has attained overnight popularity by sleeping with the "big man on campus." I can just about guarantee she is not a celebrity because every housewife is secretly in love with Bill Clinton, president and dry cleaner's nightmare extraordinaire. It is more likely that every individual who has ever wished to have an exciting social life of his/her own is able to live out their fantasy of overcoming their difficulties (e.g. a large nose and rosacea or an unattractive figure), getting off their couch, and getting their very own boyfriend or girlfriend. To put it in layman's terms, people look up to Monica because she has a social life, and if she can get one, why shouldn't they be able to as well?

On the other hand, many people believe Monica is a celebrity because she makes us feel good about ourselves, even if she does make Bill feel better. People look at her and think, "Gee, she's fat. She's ugly. She's sleeping with the president. That makes her a bad person. I'm not that fat. I'm not that ugly. I have never slept with the president. Therefore, I must be good." Realizing we're not as bad as she is makes us feel good. Americans, as Bill can attest, like to feel good and if feeling good mean making an adulteress a celeb, so be it.

To sum it all up, the whole idea of a "celebrity" is a sort of egotistical notion. We don't care how they feel. It's all about the American populace. If making illogical choices as to who our beloved celebrities are makes us feel better about ourselves and our egos, we jump for joy. It's great to have a higher self-image and to have an ego that out of the dumps. So what if my favorite celebrity is a gay drag queen who has pierced ears, eyebrows, and and fake breasts? Oh, he was also seen perusing the White House clad in sheer nightwear. But he makes me feel good and wholesome. Let's just hope that he doesn't run into Hillary.